Emotions: Good or Bad???

It seems that the pressures of today's work environment there seem to be more emotional reactions.  What causes people to "go postal"?  Emotions are not rational, yet people still need an answer to the basic question of why?  We want to find some rational reason to justify the emotion. 

I even have rationally labeled my emotions as 'good' or 'bad'.  I venture to say that all emotion is neutral, neither good or bad, however, what we choose to do as a result of that emotion could be categorized as good or bad.  Emotions are emotions.  When we get swept away by that emotion is when we forget about our surroundings and any potential impact that we have on others. 

Recently, I was given feedback that I smile a lot and it can be misleading for others.  That led me to think about my judgements about my own emotions.  Here is a list of some emotions and behaviors associated with those emotions:

Happy (smiling, laughing, joking)

Joy (smiling, relaxed)

Sad (crying, pain)

Anger (hitting, tense, criticizing, frustration)

Fear (run away, silence, frozen)

I realized that I tend to put the lable of 'good' on the Happy and Joy emotions and the label of 'bad' on the Sad, Anger, and Fear emotions.  May have something to do with the fact that I tend to smile and joke to avoid the 'bad' emotions.  The only problem is that avoidance only lasts so long and then that emotion explodes whether I like it or not. 

What messages have you received about emotions so far in your life?



Authenticty and Emotions

I attended a special interest group last week and the subject was Authentic Leadership and the author of the book, "Do You Dare to be Yourself", Andreas Dudas led our discussion. 

He gave us some distinctions between Authenticity, Integrity, and Selfishness in leadership.  Authenticity has elements of both Integrity and Selfishness, but adds the aspect of respecting others around you.

This got me thinking about my questions around emotions.  Is there any emotion that is not authentic?  There certainly is emotion that may be perceived as 'misplaced' or inappropriate for the situation, but does that make it inauthentic?  I often hear from managers that they have had experiences with people who "use emotions to manipulate them or the situation."  Based on Dudas' definition of Authenticity, does an emotional response appear selfish or inauthentic if it isn't respectful of others around you?

In my experience, when I have had an emotional response, I tend to go in one of two directions.  I either try and mask the emotion through jokes or redirecting the conversation (which may respect the people around me, but seems inauthentic and just avoids the true emotion) OR I get swept away by the emotion (which is a true emotion, but effects me and the people around me). 

What strategies are available to me to still have that true emotion AND honor myself and those around me at the same time?