It's been quite the last month. The work I've been doing has been enough to keep me afloat and pay my bills, but has not been enough to pay off credit cards or work on a savings. Since I started my own business 2.5 years ago, I've been more relaxed and things always have had a way of working out money wise. This month I find myself shifting more into the realm of worry. What is the worrying about? Well, I don't have enough scheduled work this month or next month to be able to pay my bills.
For me, it seems like a constant friction between faith and worry. Faith got me this far in my journey and I feel like worry may be doubting that faith. Is it? Or is worry helping to light a fire under me to motivate me to do something different? Maybe it isn't about avoiding the worry, but to learn what the worry is about? Is it coming from the past, present, or future? Am I worried because of what has happened in the past that could repeat itself now, or am I worried about the unknown of the future or is this worry linked to my intuition in the present that says, it's time to take action?
I think in this case, I feel like it's time to take action for future work. It may or may not solve the immediate need for money to pay my bills, but it may help me in the future with new work.
If anyone is thinking about starting their own business or breaking out on their own, it's a huge lesson on getting more comfortable with the unknown and constant networking.
It is not for the faint of heart, but is so rewarding when it works out. It's like the Yin and Yang or the ups and downs of life. I experience each one almost every day.
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