Light-Headed

There are so many "heavy" things on my mind. The economy, unhealed relationships, difficult conversations with loved ones, not getting rewarded for a job well done. I was talking with a friend today and we were discussing how it takes SO MUCH more energy to be in a negative, heavy place than it does to be happy and light.

It's time to be light-headed and proud of it! Enjoy the lightness that can be around us. I choose to celebrate this week versus worry. I choose to believe that I am couragous and I am.

What are you light-headed about?

Fear of the Journey

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented?’ Actually, ‘Who are you not to be?’…Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do…And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

--A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson

When I saw this quote, it resonated with what I am feeling right now. I’ve spent my life learning that It’s much better to be humble about my accomplishments than to share them. I don’t think anyone ever told me that in those words, but I learned it from somewhere. I think it means that I am not sharing my best talents with the world. When I read the definition of ‘humble,’ I realize that as I am growing my business as a coach, this ‘humbleness’ is getting in the way. If I think of my gifts as being ‘low in rank, importance, and quality’ that others will not take me seriously. To market myself from a place of strength would be to believe that I am “brilliant, gorgeous, and talented” and that I can accomplish anything is new territory for me. The cost for me is that I have been stuck. Saying that I want to accomplish my dreams, but showing the world that those dreams are ‘insignificant.’ I now begin to understand what it means to hold myself as an offer versus an apology.


Humble
adjective
1. not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
2. having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.
3. low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.
4. courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong.
5. low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of the galaxy.

–verb (used with object) 6. to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.
7. to destroy the independence, power, or will of.
8. to make meek: to humble one's heart.

The Journey Within

The question of “Where does courage reside in me?” has been on my mind a lot this week.

Definition (Dictionary.com):
The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
To act in accordance with one's beliefs, esp. in spite of criticism.

I think of courage a little bit differently. It is to face the difficulty in spite of fear not in the absence of fear. I don’t think you can have courage without fear. It’s knowing the fear and leaning into it to take action. I think it means standing up for what you believe in and being grounded in that belief and body

I seem to be very in touch with my fears and assessments (grounded or ungrounded) about them:
1. Failure (I did all the "right" things and it was still screwed up. )
2. Success (No one stays at the top for long. When does the other shoe drop?)
3. Loneliness (I'm not good enough)
4. Conflict (It only causes bad feelings and broken relationships)

When have I been courageous?

I remember when I first moved away from home after college in 1997. I didn't know if I would succeed or fail and it didn't matter then. I just wanted to do something different. The world seemed wide open and I just wanted to find a job that would pay my bills. I was scared of the unknown, but not enough to stay put.

I studied in Australia for a Semester in 1994 and flew across the world by myself. A small part of me was scared, but a majority of me was looking forward to the adventure and all the new people I would meet and all of the new places I would visit. I didn't dwell on the fear, but embraced the adventure. That semester, I also went bungee jumping, rock climbing, surfing, snorkeling with sharks, and scuba diving.

Were those experiences exhibiting courage or dare devil behavior? Does it matter? Does there need to be a little bit of naivete to be courageous? There is an advantage to not knowing then what I know now. The thoughts of "You will be sorry if you do this?" never entered my mind in either case because I had nothing to lose. When you start with nothing you have nothing to lose.

What is holding me back now from starting my own business are my fears that I won't be able to pay my bills, I could lose my house, I won't be able to afford health insurance, and I could neglect my friendships because of all of the work it will take to start up. I'm also afraid that by making coaching my job or profession that it means it won't be fun anymore. How do I put that fear aside long enough to ground those assessments and feel confident that I can do it in spite of myself?