Transformation happens

What were your first messages about trust?



I was told that I shouldn't talk with or trust strangers. It was ok to trust people in my family and immediate community. Trust is very fragile and if I wanted freedom as a teenager, I needed to be trustworthy. What I wasn't told was what do I do if someone in my family or immediate community viloated trust. Then, who do I trust? "I can't talk to strangers," but they will always be strangers if I don't talk to them.


Over the weekend, we talked about this very subject at my coaching conference. What was also amazing to me was the disussion about cultural discourse and trust. Aside from my parents, what messages did I receive about trust from my religion, my geographical location, from my community? I always thought that trust was universal. That either you trust someone or you don't or they trust you or they don't. I am finding that it just isn't that simple.

There is more to the onion that the first layer.

Was that really me?

A few years ago, I was asked to sing in a co-workers wedding. I was shocked that she asked me and excited at the opportunity to sing. I have sung in church choirs and choruses in my adult years, but never had any formal training. The bride had heard me sing with my guitar a few times, but never what I view as wedding songs. Oh, and by the way, she wanted me to either sing Schubert's Ave Maria or The Lord's Prayer-not easy songs to start with.

So, I told her that I wanted to hire a voice coach and practice those songs and that I would get back to her about how comfortable I was singing in her wedding.

The first session with the voice coach was all about my breathing. She had me look in the mirror and observe my face and mouth and breathe differently. We only sang a little bit.

The second session, we got into Ave Maria. At times she would sing with me to keep me on tempo. At one point, I was in the middle of the song and heard a different voice. I assumed that she was singing with me again, so I stopped to hear what I needed to correct.

When I stopped she said, "Why did you stop? That was sounding beautiful." I said, "Weren't you singing along with me?" It turns out that she was not singing along at all and that other voice I thought I heard was actually my own. I was shocked! Was that really me?! I never knew I had that voice.

Needless to say, I sang in that wedding and three other weddings after that. I am still on the journey of finding my voice. With practice, I have discovered other tones and brilliant sounds.

How have you found your "voice?"