Confessions of a Frequent Traveler

Intuition and business

2011-07-24T12:11:00.000-05:00

I've been having some conversations lately regarding following your intuition and it's connection with a job, career, life, and business. I spent almost 13 years in a corporate environment that taught me to second guess my "gut feeling". I left feeling like I didn't have the skills or knowledge to get another job or unsure about what other job I would be qualified for. I started my own business and spent the last year repairing my confidence and increasing my trust in my intuition. I have since talked with many other women who have been saying similar things about where they are in their career. In the U.S. we seem to be obsessed with predictability and proving our case for a new project or new change we want to implement. We have become so obsessed with planning and assessing risks that I ask, "When are we actually doing it and taking risks?" I feel the most alive when I am taking a risk and trusting myself to navigate through that process.

I'm not sure how I learned that skill or where I get my confidence to make decisions. The decisions themselves aren't always correct or right, but it's the way that I process and recover that have become and continue to become the strength of my confidence. Again, it's not that I'm getting it right. It's that I am striving for it and living through it that brings excitement, fear, and ultimately, I hope, happiness.

I heard JayZ say, "No one learns from success, but everyone learns from failure." Well, if we are all about predicting, then where is there time to fail and try again in that process?

Transformation

2010-07-31T10:00:00.002-05:00

Just when I think that I've got life figured out, events remind me that it isn't that simple. Some may call it the sweetness, the extra spice, the little something extra that makes life worth living. If things were predictable all of the time I would get bored. My life this first half of 2010 has given me a LOT of surprises; the loss of a love that I thought would outlast all of lifes ups and downs, the new possibilities of making a living, and developing new friendships/rekindling old ones with kindred spirits.

The "downs" of life somehow surprise me more than the "ups" of life. I'm not sure why I expect life to just have "ups". It is when I accept, not necessarily condone, that life has both ups and downs then I know I can face anything. This up or down is just temporary and I need to be present and experience both for without the true sorrows, I cannot appreciate the blissful joys when they come along. My mom once told me that when she looks for a partner/mate/companion in life, she wants to find someone who has experienced the sorrow and low in his life as well as the joys. Someone who has had it "easy" all of his life doesn't know how to make the difficult decisions, so he may differ his decision to others and never truly be happy.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, it helps me to write down lists of things I want to do in my life and things I've already done. For some reason, it gives me some balance back in my life.

Here are just a few goals that I jotted down recently for the next year:

1. Buy a new car
2. Find 2 more clients for my business
3. Take an all inclusive vacation
4. Fall in love again
5. Sell 2 necklaces
6. Research a new idea I have for my business
7. Read 4 books
8. Go on 5 dates with different men
9. Lose 35 pounds
10. Set up training program to run a 5K
11. Find a cheaper health plan
12. Hire a cleaning service for my condo (at least once per month)
13. Host 2 or more dinner parties for friends
14. Paint my living room
15. Buy a new couch
16. Buy a new desk
17. Clean out closets and start giving away and throwing away clutter

As I write those up here on this blog, I realize that they are in no particular order. I am already starting to train for a 5K in October, which I hope will then necessitate the weight loss. I used to love to run in high school, so I'll now see if I still love it.

Peering into the Valley

2010-04-26T20:41:00.005-05:00

Today, I attended the funeral of an old friend who died way to young at age 40. He had just quit his job in search of a new adventure. They say he died of a massive heart attack in his sleep. A few of his friends found him the next day. Carpe Diem is the phrase that keeps repeating in my head--squeezing the marrow out of life. His cousin got up to say a few words and said how much he had lived his life at such a young age and took care of everyone. He said that "Andy went out on top" and I believe it.

I am sad today not just because of the loss of a good person who was there for anyone in need but I am also sad for those that don't "suck the marrow out of life" that wait until another day to go on that vacation or have coffee with that friend they haven't seen in years.

I know that the only thing certain in life is death and we don't know when that will happen to us. I want to cultivate joy and gratefulness in my life.

I am so grateful for all of my friends in my life. My close friends know me through my crazy times, fun times, and sad times and still enjoy the show. :) I'm grateful for my family who can drive me crazy at times, but who are honest and would do anything for me as well as I would do for them. I am grateful for my house and the people I meet everyday.

As my friend, Vernita says, "I want to emerge and evolve to become unperturbable" to my surroundings. I think that is truly cultivating joy, don't you?

Live your life as if no one was watching. Dance in your underwear, sing in the supermarket, play in the water fountain, laugh uncontrollably, and create the life you've always wanted.

The Road Less Travelled

2010-03-26T07:08:00.002-05:00

I did it. I quit my job in January to start my own business. I'm my own boss which is very exciting, scary, creative, flexible, and freeing. It's interesting because for the first time in 12 years, I don't feel worried. When I had a full time job, I was contantly worried about living up to expectations, figuring out what the expectations were, and how to hold on to my job. Now, when I think that I "should be worried" about finding work and paying my bills, I have a peace that I haven't felt in a LONG time. I know that I will find work and I have a plan for paying my bills.

Something that I recently discovered is that I'm not fitting in with the "norm" in my community. I am loving my job and my lifestyle right now. I am so happy! I am noticing that I feel a little guilty for telling people that. How do I find the balance between telling people what's going on with me and not feel like I'm bragging about my life? I used to be in the midst of the gossip and talk about what I didn't like about my job and how hard work was for me. It's not proving to be hard at this point, at least not yet.

Another friend of mine who recently left her job after 10 years says, "I feel like I've moved into a career where I am finally taking care of myself and coming into me. Some people say that I'm in retirement, but I feel like I'm just beginning."

I do feel like I'm just beginning to emerge. I have so many ideas of making money and creating my offer to organizations. It's so nice that I already have some work that is getting me by right now and not have to dip into my savings.

2010 is already giving me the flexibility and freedom to think differently. I think this transition and emerging process will be throughout this year.

How are you emerging this year?

Tip toeing through political work environments

2009-11-30T17:17:00.002-05:00

Whenever I travel to a new place, I immediately get the map and plot where my hotel is in relation to restaurants and entertainment. Once I can picture where I am, I am ready to explore the unknown and take the road less travelled. If I can't picture where I "fit" into the larger context, it becomes harder for me to explore and be curious. It's this need to know where or who I am before I can explore where I am going or moving forward.

I've been butting heads with a boss at work all year. Rationally, I know the main issue is that she's a VERY detailed and scheduled person who is in a role that is not in her comfort zone in terms of being more "hands off" and strategic thinking. I admit that I have a lot to learn about details and structure of things. I miss details on my best day and at times will make up detail to prove my point (I'd say that would be on my worst day). I see arbitrary deadlines as a waste of time. If it's a hard and fast deadline for a deliverable such as presenting to an audience, I will get it done and deem that much more important than the schedule leading up to it. Well, I have been so frustrated this year because I can't see why I was selected to do certain projects or how much autonomy do I have to run the project my way? I have felt like the Dilbert cartoon where I have all the blame for the failure of projects, and my boss has all of the decision making power. I feel like I'm an underwriter for her. She seems to want to tell me what to write, I write it, and then she has someone to blame if it isn't written well.

I need the road map. I need the "You are Here" icon in the broader picture. I can't see where I'm going because I can't see where I am. So far, all I can see are the wrong turns I'm making into the brick walls. I am trying hard to see the "maze".

So, I have felt I've been stalled on my journey for at least a year or two figuring out how to get past the dead ends. I think 2010 is going to be a banner year for me because I see the light through the "hedges". I see opportunity to move because I see myself somewhere different than this job. I have an opportunity to put a stake in the ground where I am standing that says, "You are Here" move forward. I get a chance to create the 'ocean' I will swim in or the 'map' I will follow from here.

Career thoughts

2009-09-15T15:38:00.002-05:00

It's almost a year since my last post and so much has happened. Where to begin? I've been in my own transformative process. Tackling those grand questions of:

What do I want to do when I grow up?
Where are my strengths?
How can I get paid to do what I love?
How can I get unstuck and face my fears?

In true form, I have identified many things I don't want in the process to discover what I do want. Here are a few thoughts:

I want to use my strengths and be proud of them
I want to give back to my community
I want to put "work" in perspective and start "playing" more
I want to be financially secure and take lots risks in life
I want to cultivate relationship
I want to align my passions with what I do

Now, it's about turning those wants into action. What do you want in a career or in your life?

Turning 35!

2008-10-21T12:31:00.005-05:00

I just celebrated my 35th birthday and had a fabulous time. It became a weekend event. I went out on Friday night for happy hour that turned into a late night. I got my hair cut and darkened and love it! On Saturday night, I invited friends to go bowling and enjoyed it immensely. On Sunday, my actual birthday, I slept in and took a long walk for brunch and took a nap in the afternoon. All in all, it was a well balanced weekend.

Like every year, I set a new intention or theme for the next year. Last year, my theme was "Fearless" and consequently I dealt with a lot of fearful things.

This year, I have a few top picks:

Pleasure
Lightness
Acceptance

The jury is still out and will decide in a few weeks.

It's also a good time to reflect on the last year's accomplishments and learning. Here's my Top 10 list:

10. Finished my Coaching certification through Newfield Network
9. Attended a weekly yoga classes at Journeyoga.net
8. Realized that having emotion is not the same as the emotions having me
7. Designed and sold some pieces of my jewelry
6. I went out on dates and am still looking...
5. Re-decorated my back deck with flowers and a sectional couch
4. Made themed onesies for all of my pregnant friends (8 women)
3. Bonded with a horse named Allegro
2. Sometimes when there are too many directions to go in, the best thing to do is stand still
1. Scrabble on Facebook is sooooo addictive!

Is there ever an unbiased survey?

2008-10-21T12:06:00.002-05:00

So, I am filling out this survey for work about generational differences, and at one point it asks me,
What is your status?
A. Single/divorced/widowed
B. Married/partnered.

Ok, so as a single, never been married woman, I am put into the same category as widows and divorcees? So, the only reason to be single is a perceived negative connotation? No offense to those who have gone through a divorce or who are widows. I can't pretend to know what it is like to go through that, but why not have answers like,
A. Single and Happy
B. Single and Looking
C. Married and Happy
D. Married and Looking
E. Partnered and Happy
F. Partnered and Looking
G. It's complicated :)
It adds a little more zest, don't you think?

Ok, I realize I'm projecting my own stuff on the survey....but.....

There is a question that says,
How much time do you spend with your children?
A. Never
B. Rarely
C. Weekly
D. Daily

There was NOT a "Does not apply" answer, so I had to put Never since I don't have kids. It assumes I have kids even if I answered three previous questions about kids, "Do you have them? Do you want them? If you had them, would you want a flexible work arrangement?"

Just some thoughts.....

Light-Headed

2008-09-30T17:44:00.003-05:00

There are so many "heavy" things on my mind. The economy, unhealed relationships, difficult conversations with loved ones, not getting rewarded for a job well done. I was talking with a friend today and we were discussing how it takes SO MUCH more energy to be in a negative, heavy place than it does to be happy and light.

It's time to be light-headed and proud of it! Enjoy the lightness that can be around us. I choose to celebrate this week versus worry. I choose to believe that I am couragous and I am.

What are you light-headed about?

Fear of the Journey

2008-09-19T10:56:00.005-05:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented?’ Actually, ‘Who are you not to be?’…Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do…And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

--A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson

When I saw this quote, it resonated with what I am feeling right now. I’ve spent my life learning that It’s much better to be humble about my accomplishments than to share them. I don’t think anyone ever told me that in those words, but I learned it from somewhere. I think it means that I am not sharing my best talents with the world. When I read the definition of ‘humble,’ I realize that as I am growing my business as a coach, this ‘humbleness’ is getting in the way. If I think of my gifts as being ‘low in rank, importance, and quality’ that others will not take me seriously. To market myself from a place of strength would be to believe that I am “brilliant, gorgeous, and talented” and that I can accomplish anything is new territory for me. The cost for me is that I have been stuck. Saying that I want to accomplish my dreams, but showing the world that those dreams are ‘insignificant.’ I now begin to understand what it means to hold myself as an offer versus an apology.

Humble
adjective
1. not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
2. having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.
3. low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.
4. courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong.
5. low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of the galaxy.

–verb (used with object) 6. to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.
7. to destroy the independence, power, or will of.
8. to make meek: to humble one's heart.

The Journey Within

2008-09-09T15:34:00.004-05:00

The question of “Where does courage reside in me?” has been on my mind a lot this week.

Definition (Dictionary.com):
The quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
To act in accordance with one's beliefs, esp. in spite of criticism.

I think of courage a little bit differently. It is to face the difficulty in spite of fear not in the absence of fear. I don’t think you can have courage without fear. It’s knowing the fear and leaning into it to take action. I think it means standing up for what you believe in and being grounded in that belief and body

I seem to be very in touch with my fears and assessments (grounded or ungrounded) about them:
1. Failure (I did all the "right" things and it was still screwed up. )
2. Success (No one stays at the top for long. When does the other shoe drop?)
3. Loneliness (I'm not good enough)
4. Conflict (It only causes bad feelings and broken relationships)

When have I been courageous?

I remember when I first moved away from home after college in 1997. I didn't know if I would succeed or fail and it didn't matter then. I just wanted to do something different. The world seemed wide open and I just wanted to find a job that would pay my bills. I was scared of the unknown, but not enough to stay put.

I studied in Australia for a Semester in 1994 and flew across the world by myself. A small part of me was scared, but a majority of me was looking forward to the adventure and all the new people I would meet and all of the new places I would visit. I didn't dwell on the fear, but embraced the adventure. That semester, I also went bungee jumping, rock climbing, surfing, snorkeling with sharks, and scuba diving.

Were those experiences exhibiting courage or dare devil behavior? Does it matter? Does there need to be a little bit of naivete to be courageous? There is an advantage to not knowing then what I know now. The thoughts of "You will be sorry if you do this?" never entered my mind in either case because I had nothing to lose. When you start with nothing you have nothing to lose.

What is holding me back now from starting my own business are my fears that I won't be able to pay my bills, I could lose my house, I won't be able to afford health insurance, and I could neglect my friendships because of all of the work it will take to start up. I'm also afraid that by making coaching my job or profession that it means it won't be fun anymore. How do I put that fear aside long enough to ground those assessments and feel confident that I can do it in spite of myself?

Have Horse will Travel!

2008-08-13T16:50:00.003-05:00

I recently attended a leadership workshop that my friends Natalie and Brian gave that incorporated horses in the activities. We didn't ride the horses or train the horses. On the contrary, we learned more from them than I think they learned from us.

Growing up I wanted a horse like most young girls do. My mom decided to help me understand the responsibility of owning a horse, she would send me to a week long day camp where they taught us how to take care of them and ride them. Well, at age 12, that solved it. I didn't ask for a horse again. Have you ever tried to change a horseshoe?

It wasn't until a few months ago and befriending Natalie and Brian, that I started being curious about horses again. I connected with one horse in particular. It was unexplainable, but I got the feeling that he understood me. As I write this, I'm thinking that it sounds like an awkward scene in a movie, "You understand (or complete) me."

We spent time observing ourselves and the horses and experienced what it was like to lead with intuition and positive energy. For the first time, I appreciated those unexplainable gut feelings and the power that those can have on leadership. I was able to lead a horse around a corral without touching him, forcing him, or moving out of one spot. How is that possible? By requesting that the horse follow, asking others to follow an action that seems arbitrary, and my willingness to trust my gut feeling and having the confidence to voice it to other people.

I had a group of people walk in a single file line around the ring and ignoring the horse. As they passed the horse, the horse got in the middle of the line and walked with the group across a low jump obstacle. It was so amazing that I don't even believe it happened.

It brought the question to my mind, "How many times do I hold myself back because I don't trust my intuition?"

Transformation happens

2008-02-11T14:24:00.000-05:00

What were your first messages about trust?

I was told that I shouldn't talk with or trust strangers. It was ok to trust people in my family and immediate community. Trust is very fragile and if I wanted freedom as a teenager, I needed to be trustworthy. What I wasn't told was what do I do if someone in my family or immediate community viloated trust. Then, who do I trust? "I can't talk to strangers," but they will always be strangers if I don't talk to them.

Over the weekend, we talked about this very subject at my coaching conference. What was also amazing to me was the disussion about cultural discourse and trust. Aside from my parents, what messages did I receive about trust from my religion, my geographical location, from my community? I always thought that trust was universal. That either you trust someone or you don't or they trust you or they don't. I am finding that it just isn't that simple.

There is more to the onion that the first layer.

Was that really me?

2008-02-06T22:01:00.000-05:00

A few years ago, I was asked to sing in a co-workers wedding. I was shocked that she asked me and excited at the opportunity to sing. I have sung in church choirs and choruses in my adult years, but never had any formal training. The bride had heard me sing with my guitar a few times, but never what I view as wedding songs. Oh, and by the way, she wanted me to either sing Schubert's Ave Maria or The Lord's Prayer-not easy songs to start with.

So, I told her that I wanted to hire a voice coach and practice those songs and that I would get back to her about how comfortable I was singing in her wedding.

The first session with the voice coach was all about my breathing. She had me look in the mirror and observe my face and mouth and breathe differently. We only sang a little bit.

The second session, we got into Ave Maria. At times she would sing with me to keep me on tempo. At one point, I was in the middle of the song and heard a different voice. I assumed that she was singing with me again, so I stopped to hear what I needed to correct.

When I stopped she said, "Why did you stop? That was sounding beautiful." I said, "Weren't you singing along with me?" It turns out that she was not singing along at all and that other voice I thought I heard was actually my own. I was shocked! Was that really me?! I never knew I had that voice.

Needless to say, I sang in that wedding and three other weddings after that. I am still on the journey of finding my voice. With practice, I have discovered other tones and brilliant sounds.

How have you found your "voice?"

Where do I go now?

2008-01-21T09:24:00.000-05:00

I'm finishing up my coaching program and I know that this is what I want to do with my next career. I have learned so much about myself and am continuing to learn with each client.

How do we know we have achieved success in something? What are my conditions of satisfaction for success?

I believe that I have only noticed my achievements by looking back to written communication I authored, pictures, recordings, and anything else that captured the moment I was in at that time. I am inconsistent at best with writing in my journal or on this blog which goes back to that question. Part of that comes from the fact that I only want to write when I think I have something important to say. Some of my journals end up having multiple entries that are the same. What I deem important is variety, I guess. "If it doesn't have variety then it isn't worth mentioning."

How do I know how much I've learned or grown without writing down thoughts throughout the journey?

Some of the best trips that I've taken, I have written travel journals throughout the trip and it stays alive with me for years afterwards. I remember little details because of those entries. Pictures help, too. Although, I don't always remember the buildings names or where the scenery is actually located without writing it down.

I keep receiving feedback about being more consistent. I enjoy that variety so much that I forget or don't learn how to be consistent in my actions and words. It's served me well in many domains of my life. How can I be more consistent without being boring?

Emotions

2008-01-15T13:25:00.001-05:00

I've been knee deep in my coaching certification and came across the following from one of my classmates:

When thinking changes your mind, that's philosophy.

When God changes your mind, that's faith.

When facts change your mind, that's science.

WHAT HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT? WHY?
http://edge.org/q2008/q08_index.html

I've changed my mind about emotions. I've always viewed emotion as a bad thing. Something that should be suppressed. Every time tears welled up, I hated it. I would always say to myself, "What are you doing? This is stupid. Why are you crying? But I wouldn't wait to even hear my answer to these questions. It could be from my upbringing; My father is German/Scottish descent. My mother is Scotch/Irish descent. Those cultures by nature do not show much emotion outwardly compared to other cultures--maybe it has something to do with the cold environment of those countries. Who knows?!
Through my journey this past year, I've changed my mind and now am on the journey to embrace my emotions (all of them) and learn from them instead of suppressing them. It doesn't serve anyone else and it doesn't serve me.
The question that I ask is, "Why does the American Society, that I'm familiar with, want us to suppress our emotions? It's almost like society says, emotions aren't rational, which is true, but they go further to say that only rational things are important.

If emotions are catalysts for action and we don't value emotions, then does that mean that we don't take action or we take action only if it's rational?

What impact does that have on the decisions that we make for action? What impact does that have on our gut feeling about things?

Another year older

2007-11-02T16:17:00.001-05:00

So I recently celebrated my 34th birthday with going to a corn maze in Virginia with friends. I don't feel 34. I feel like I'm still 21. Where do the years go? Don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be my age. I believe in celebrating every year. I don't want to be 21 anymore. I was anxious about where I was going to get my next paycheck. I was in college wondering what sort of job a Pyschology major can get after she graduates. I had thoughts of going into the Peace Corps and travelling the world.

Even though I didn't join the peace corps, I don't regret anything since I graduated. I usually make a list on my birthday of all the things that I accomplished in the year so I can see where I've been.

1. I started a certification program for coaching through http://www.newfieldnetwork.com/.
2. I learned how to fall out of love with someone and mended my heart
3. I travelled north of New York City for the first time
4. My dad and I are having impactful conversations
5. I went on an interview for another job
6. I met my new nephew, Ford, and spent time with Jim and Melanie
7. I watched my brother, Warren, fall in love and get married
8. I saw Brad Pitt in the airport!
9. I went to Las Vegas twice
10. I am purchasing a custom made chest of drawers from my friend, Mike Mendelow. Check out: http://www.washingtonwoodworks.com/

North Woods Travel

2007-09-10T10:01:00.000-05:00

I just returned from a week long vacation and road trip to the north Maine woods. I had not been north of New York before this trip and was glad to do it with my friends Jeni, Eric, and Tracy.

Jeni was definitely the organized one of the crew with her folder of activities for each day of the journey and her Nice-n-Clean wet wipes. Not to mention her culinary skills of apple pie, potato hash, and cheesy eggs. Jeni played multiple roles during the week including comic relief, "Riding on a motorcycle without a helmet. He's just asking to kiss the sidewalk." Any word that ends in "ass" is bound to come out of Jeni's mouth, "Jackass, dumb ass, smart ass."

Eric's role on the trip was that of the DJ. Every morning we woke up to a mix of music from his iPod. Some of those songs brought back memories of elementary school days. Where do you find some of those songs?

Tracy brought her vacuuming skills and a slight obsession to the spray Clorox in the shower every day. Her skills of being a tour guide in Boston were the best. We actually accomplished everything on Jeni's list. Hooray!

I make an excellent cup of java. I also took Jeni on detours to get ice cream and to take pictures of all the state signs. I also started the whole trip when I won a week in Maine in a cabin on a lake from a charity event auction.

It was a great time of relaxation, seeing sites, eating LOTS of junk food, and singing in the car. The view from the cabin was fantastic! We had beautiful weather all week long. Here are just a few highlights:

View of Lake Ambejejus and Mt. Katahdin from the cabin

Hiking in Baxter State Park

Nicky and Big Girl

Whale Watching from Boston

It was so nice to disconnect from the world for a few days. In North Maine, we didn't have cable or Internet or cell phone coverage. All we had were games, a hammock, a TV/VCR for movies, and great landscape.

I'm now getting ready for my brother, Warren's wedding in California. I leave in 2 days. Why can't I be independently wealthy and travel all over whenever I feel like it and work whenever I feel like it. :)

Celebrity Citing

2007-08-29T09:53:00.001-05:00

My last trip was to Chicago for a little work and play. I love going to there in the summer time. It's such a vibrant city with a buzz. I enjoyed my 'play' time with my friend, Phoebe. We always have such a great time. It's nice to have close friends who just "get" you. We spent time shopping on Michigan Ave. and I had the best shopping experience I've ever had.

We walked into Anne Fontaine, which is a boutique that specializes in the ultimate white shirt for women. The sales women were helpful and seemed to really enjoy their job and selling their product. I actually walked away with a black blouse at the end of the day. I would highly recommend that if you have some extra money (the blouses are not cheap) and want to treat yourself to to Anne Fontaine.

To top off a fabulous weekend of shopping and schmoozing with Phoebe, I had a celebrity citing. I was sitting in O'Hare waiting for my flight and watching people pass by. Next thing I see is a goodlooking guy standing in my line of site. I'm thinking, "Wow, he's nice looking." and went on looking around to only realize that it wasn't just any good looking guy, but BRAD PITT.

He was wearing this hat and walking non chalantly through the airport. Of course I realized after he passed that I didn't have my camera, so here is the closest picture I could find.

My next travel adventure will be a roadtrip to Maine. Maybe I'll run into some other celebs.

Mini-Traveller

2007-05-11T16:09:00.000-05:00

My nephew, Ford Patterson, was born on May 7th in Columbia, SC and I think he's the cutest thing ever! He is my first nephew and my parents first grandchild, so it's ultra special. I can't believe I'm an aunt. I can't wait to meet him and begin to corrupt him. :) Isn't that my role as an aunt? Especially because I want to be the coolest aunt. Honestly, how much influence can I really have on this little one? Maybe I will be able to take him along on some of my travels or help contribute to his spirit for travel and the arts.

I wonder what technology will be around when he is 30 years old? I wonder if he will be an earth conscious hippie or a wall street mogul?

How much of growing up is the environment around him and how much is coming from heredity? Only time will tell.

Isolated Traveling

2007-04-12T14:48:00.000-05:00

I am pursuing a Coaching certification, which includes life, somatic, and executive coaching. I am gaining many insights. More importantly, I am beginning to see things with new eyes. I recently read an article about the Crisis of the Western Mind that talks about capitalism as pushing for more growth and profit, causing us to be more disconnected with the world around us. Only pursuing the things that will be good for an individual versus a community. Not looking at the long term effects of this "progress" but the short-term gain of profit.

I see this happening in how we choose to live and where we choose to live. The bigger the house, the bigger the security system is to keep intruders out and the bigger the fence and shrubs to keep the neighbors out of our business. We are living in isolation or islands every day. We drive cars that have more room to buffer us from the world and spend hours on computers in isolation before we drive home in isolation to eat dinner in our big houses watching TV. I now have some context to put to my wanderings of emptiness that I feel and see in others.

Communities are where the true happiness lies. When I spontaneously knock on my neighbor's door and he on mine, we share a common understanding that community is better than isolation. We help each other when the other is out of town, and share drinks out on our back decks. I feel lucky to have a community of people who want to be around people. Who are not afraid of the neighbors, but who embrace them for all of their quirkiness.
My question is, "Did the uni-bomber have a community?"

Lucky Traveler

2007-03-05T11:58:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since my last entry. I've been booking my next travel adventures to San Francisco and Las Vegas in April and May. So much is happening. My brother just got engaged, my other brother and sister-in-law are about to have their first baby boy, and I'm beginning a coaching certification at the end of this month.

I feel like all of the planets are aligned and I should buy a Mega Millions lottery ticket. It's up to $370 Million dollars. Can you imagine? Even if I just won a quarter of it, that would be about 60 million dollars after taxes.

I think I would first hire a financial advisor and lawyer. Then, I would divide the money among my family members and set aside some money to pay off all of my bills. Then I would set up a profitable savings plan to earn the most interest so I can live off of that instead of the actual money. I wouldn't quit my job immediately like a lot of people, but allow it to sink in and figure out my long term strategy.

I could set up a foundation, buy real estate, take my friends and family to Europe for the month or even buy a villa there so we can all visit, open a business with my friend, Phoebe, and share in the wealth with others.

It's amazing to think about, and I can picture myself in a brand new convertible driving across country now. What would you do?

Valentine's Day?

2007-02-14T17:11:00.000-05:00

It's a day to celebrate couple hood. A day where if you are single and asked, "What are you doing for valentines day" it's important not to sound like you don't have plans. Or else you are given the, "Aw, I'm sorry you don't have plans. Maybe you will have someone next year" look.
Do I sound a little bitter about the day? Maybe. I am normally a very happy person who's life is anything but boring. In fact, I'm known as being very social and always having fun plans.

Well, once a year I am reminded that if I don't have a boyfriend or a valentine that I must be a loser. So, this year the most blessed thing happened. (No, I don't have a boyfriend.) We had an ice storm with some snow, so it gave me a good excuse to stay home and avoid all of the rose deliveries, candy, people announcing engagements at work.

I am not a person to take revenge or wish ill on anyone, but there was a small part of me that chuckled when the news announced that flower deliveries were delayed, restaurants were having cancellations, and Valentine's day wasn't the most important thing on the news today.

Is that wrong of me?

Sushi nights

2007-02-08T17:28:00.000-05:00

I grew up hating to try anything different in terms of food. It was all about plain cheese burgers from McDonald's and cheese pizza. I was the kid who only stuck with what she knew. My brother, Jim, on the other hand was the opposite. He was the "Mikey" of our family. He was and is willing to try any new exotic food. So, when I mentioned to him on the phone the other night that I was going out for sushi he almost fainted.

It wasn't until I moved to the Washington, DC area that I started to branch out and try new foods. After all, this area has every kind of food imaginable. Now, I LOVE Sushi, Thai, Mexican, Ethiopian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Italian, and the list goes on. I think I am now addicted to food and am even willing to have mushrooms, onions, pepperoni, sausage, gyro meat, chicken, green peppers, ham, Canadian bacon, and pineapple on my pizzas (maybe not all together). :)

What I have found is that by eating new foods I am traveling without leaving town. I sat at a sushi bar this week and started chatting with the person next to me. She recommended some selections and we talked about owning animals. As it turns out, we found out that we were only 2 degrees separation from each other! She knows my neighbors.

As adventurous as I've become, I always seem to be reminded that this is a small world after all!

Old memories

2007-01-25T15:14:00.000-05:00

My family found out this week that our old home on N. 30th Ave., Yakima, WA is up for sale. One of our family friends is moving back to Yakima, looking for a house and the realtor showed him this one.

What a small world? This, of course, brought back memories. We had a garage that was set away from the house on the back of the lot. Behind the garage was a tree house and LOTS of dirt. My brothers would spend summers digging a big hole back there just because it would make a good trench or to see how big they could make it. My mom says that it was her job every year before the first snow to fill in the hole so we wouldn't fall into it during winter.

There is a secret hiding place in this house on the second floor. Only small children can crawl into it. There was a crawl through space between the eves between my brothers bedroom and my bedroom. They always found ways to terrorize me when I had sleepovers.

We haven't lived in this house since 1982, and have lived in many other houses throughout our childhood. However, when people ask me what my childhood was like, my memory always goes back here and it hasn't changed at all from the outside.

Inclement Weather

2007-01-22T09:48:00.000-05:00

Until I was 9 yrs old, I lived in Yakima, WA. We got tons of snow every year sometimes before Halloween. I remember bundling up in my bibs and moon boots to play in the snow for hours. We never actually had "snow days" off from school, but would race home in the afternoon before dark to have snow fights, play in our snow forts, and make snow angels.

As an adult, I love taking the day off work when it snows. Okay, maybe it's just a good excuse to play hookie. It satisfies my childish side. Even if I never actually get outside to make snow angels, I enjoy myself immensely. I either stay under my bed covers and sleep and watch Oprah while drinking some hot cocoa. It is blissful to take a break from my busy life.

Characters along the way

2007-01-19T16:01:00.000-05:00

One of the outcomes of traveling for me is meeting the interesting characters along the way. I remember when I was in Australia in 1994, I was traveling by train from Perth to Melbourne and had a 6 hour stop over in Adelaide. Well, I hunkered down with my deck of cards and my headphones and played a ton of solitaire. As I was between games, a woman sitting next to me struck up a conversation. Well, before I knew how we got there, she says that she's traveling to Melbourne to crash her ex-husband's wedding. Here's where it gets tricky; her ex-husband was engaged to her mother.

I find people fascinating. I always seem to hear confessions from people's lives; "I feel guilty for not spending much time with my son," said one frequent traveler. Other's tell me of their engagements, philosophies on life, working with the Bush administration to prove that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, heading to Chicago to play in a professional soccer game for the first time, visiting with family, etc. One guy gave me 3 novels and his card.

You may be wondering if I am one of those annoying people on flights who talks incessantly, but I'm not. I promise. Most times I'm trying to mind my own business, bury my head in a book, or listen to music, and these folks just find a way to strike up the conversation. And because I'm fascinated, it's like a moth to a flame.

I noticed an increase of these conversations especially after 9/11. I think there are more nervous people flying, and figure if they are going down, they better know their seat-mates, just in case. So, who are your "seat-mates?"

What would your sitcom be?

2007-01-17T15:12:00.000-05:00

I was asked on my Date Lab profile, "If we created a TV show about your love life, what would it be?" This got me thinking...

My first reaction is "Comedy." Maybe even a new show all together that hasn't been done before. "Tall, 5'11" woman seeks a 6' man, but only finds the 5'8" men interesting." What is it with height? All of my life I have been called the jolly green giant or amazon woman, and when I have dated men shorter than I am, other women say, "I don't know how you do it. Dating someone who only comes up to your chin?" Men have been doing it for centuries. In fact, I see more men who are above 6' dating small woman (4'11" or 5'). I have been conditioned to think that a tall man is better for me. That we would look more evenly matched. But when it comes down to it, does it measure how wonderful a person is? No.

I think back to the a story in my family that takes on unconventional stereotypes. It's about 'Big Sug," (Lola Warren Walker) who was married to Jay Walker. They were opposites in terms of body type. She was overweight and diabetic. He was stick skinny. He used to say that Big Sug was big, but it was just more of her to love. They were very quirky and maybe a little crazy, but very much in love.

When I was in my 20's, I was looking for someone who looked good on paper; 6'5" with brown hair, blue eyes, great smile, and fantastic forearms. Clearly, those men were out there, but their personalities were not a match with mine.

Now that I'm in my 30's, I'm changing my tune. Looks are going to wane as we get older. Heck, even my eyesight is going to go at somepoint. So, why not be with someone who is your best friend. Who has seen me through my worst and best. Someone who may not be Matt Damon or Brad Pitt, but who makes me laugh. I think my TV show looks more like "Ed" instead of "Beverly Hills 90210" now, and that's just fine with me.

The winds are changing

2007-01-15T16:46:00.000-05:00

A good friend told me this morning that age 33 is supposed to be the year of enlightenment. I wonder what sort of enlightenment I should pay attention to? Is it that I have started remembering my dreams again, eventhough my last dream was of me in a tatoo shop picking out designs. Does it include doing things that I have never done before? Like going out with the guy that I wouldn't normally find attractive, taking a trip, or just not doing the same thing on a Friday night like dinner and a movie with a select few friends.

2007 started off with figuring out how to shake up my life, in a good way. I went to a New Year's gala for the first time and drank myself silly on cranberry vodkas and kissed some twenty-something guy on the dance floor. I flew to Houston, TX, which I've never done before, and found that on the surface Houston is one giant, sprawling strip mall. I still don't know what there is to see in Houston. I signed up for the Washington Post Date Lab, which seems risky, so it's worth it. And I am making travel plans to go to Vegas with friends so I can say, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Many times I start off the new year with a goal like losing more weight, spending more time with family, exercise more, but this year I decided that it's time to shake it up. I need to make some change in my life, and it all starts with choosing a slightly different path doing the opposite.